How to sell a house with your ex without losing your mind

Cold open

Host: You were telling me about a case you came across recently — a couple going through a divorce who still had to sell their house together.

Expert: Yeah. And it's something we see quite a lot. You've dealt with lawyers, you've dealt with splitting furniture, who's got the dog on weekends — all of that. And then somebody says, "we still have to sell the house together."

Host: And your stomach just drops.

Expert: Every single time. Out of everything in a divorce, the house is usually the thing people are least prepared for. Because everything else has a process — a mediator, a lawyer, a form. The house? You're just... supposed to figure it out. Together. With the person you're divorcing.

Host: Which sounds like a joke.

Expert: It sounds like a joke, but it's real, and it's happening to someone watching this right now.

Host: So that's what today's about. Not "should you sell" — we'll touch on that — but if you're selling with your ex, how do you actually get through it without it becoming World War Three?

Expert: Or without you just... freezing. Which is what a lot of people do. They'd rather let the house sit for eight months than have one more conversation with their ex about it.

Host: We're going to fix that today.

Before Anything Else: Get One Agreement, Not Ten

Host: So where does this actually start? Because I imagine most couples in this situation aren't exactly... in a texting mood.

Expert: Right, and that's the first mistake people make — they try to agree on everything upfront. The agent, the price, the timeline, who does what.

Host: All in one go?

Expert: Exactly. And that's too much surface area for conflict. What we tell people is: get ONE agreement first. Just — "we are selling." That's it. Full stop.

Host: Not even a price yet?

Expert: Not yet. Just the decision to sell. Because once that's locked in, everything else becomes a logistics conversation instead of an emotional one. You're not negotiating your marriage anymore, you're negotiating a spreadsheet.

Host: That's actually a nice reframe. "We agreed to sell" turns the house into a project, not a battlefield.

Expert: Exactly. And here's a tip — get that one agreement in writing. Doesn't need to be legal. A text message: "Confirming we're both agreed to sell 14 Marlowe Road, aiming to move fast."

Host: Just something you can both refer back to?

Expert: Exactly. That message becomes your anchor. Any time things get heated later, you go back to it. You already agreed on the big thing.

Viewings With Your Ex

Host: Okay, let's get into the parts people actually dread. Viewings. Having your ex walk through what used to be your home, with strangers, while you're trying to sell it.

Expert: This is the one people message us about the most, honestly. "I can't do viewings with him." "She keeps 'helping' during viewings and it's humiliating." It's a real thing.

Host: So what's the fix?

Expert: A few options, depending on how bad the tension is. First — and this is underrated — one person handles viewings, not both.

Host: So you don't actually need to do them together?

Expert: Not at all. You don't need to co-host an open house. Pick whoever's calmer under pressure, or whoever's actually still living there, and let them run point. The other person doesn't need to be present for every single viewing.

Expert: Because they assume "selling together" means doing everything together. It doesn't. You're co-owners, not co-hosts.

Expert: And agree that whoever isn't there doesn't get a play-by-play afterward. No "how did it go, what did they say about the kitchen, was he weird." You're just adding conflict for no reason. Need-to-know only: offer came in, or it didn't.

Agreeing on Price (and the Agent) Without a Fight

Host: Let's talk price. Because I imagine this is where things really go sideways — one person wants to hold out for more, the other just wants it gone.

Expert: This is the classic split. One person's still emotionally attached, or financially stretched, and wants top price. The other one's exhausted and just wants closure.

Host: So how do you bridge that?

Expert: Get an independent number first. Not from either of your networks — not your cousin who's an agent, not his mate who "knows the market." Get two or three independent valuations, and use the middle figure as your starting point. That takes the "well MY agent said—" argument off the table before it starts.

Expert: And on choosing an agent — same principle. Pick someone neither of you has a personal relationship with. You want someone neutral, who reports to both of you equally, copies both of you on every email.

Host: So neither person feels like the agent is taking sides.

Expert: Exactly. The second an estate agent becomes "her agent" or "his agent," you've recreated the marriage dynamic inside the sale.

Dividing the Proceeds Without Reopening the Divorce

Host: How do you actually split the money without it becoming a whole new negotiation?

Expert: This should ideally already be settled in your divorce agreement — the percentage split, who covers what from the proceeds, mortgage payoff, etc. If it's not settled yet, get that nailed down with your solicitors before the sale completes, not after. Money sitting in a solicitor's account with no agreed split is a recipe for delay.

Host: So the house sale and the financial agreement should move on parallel tracks, not one after the other.

Expert: Right. If your solicitor hasn't raised this yet, you raise it. The goal is clean, done, no additional conversation needed. By the time the house sells, the money question should already be a non-issue.

When You Genuinely Can't Agree

Host: But realistically — some people watching this are probably thinking, "This all sounds great, but we can't even agree on which agent."

Expert: Bring in a mediator specifically for the property decision, not just the divorce as a whole. And communicate in writing where you can, so there's a clear record and less room for things escalating in the heat of a conversation.

Host: And what if one person just won't engage at all?

Expert: That's when it may need to go through the courts — a judge can order a sale if one party is being unreasonable or unresponsive. Nobody wants that route. It's slower and more expensive, but it exists as a backstop. The goal of everything else in this video is to help you avoid needing it.

Host: So the throughline through all of this is really: reduce the number of moments where you two actually have to negotiate directly.

Expert: That's the whole game. The couples who get through this with the least damage are the ones who structure the process so there's as little direct back-and-forth as possible.

Where Springbok Fits In

Expert: A lot of the friction we've talked about today — viewings, agent politics, waiting months for a buyer who might fall through — a lot of that disappears when you go with a direct sale. At Springbok, we buy the property ourselves, so there's no chain, no buyer pulling out three months in, no repeated viewings with strangers walking through what used to be your family home.

Host: So in this particular situation, it's not necessarily just the speed that's attractive.

Expert: No. It's reducing the number of times you and your ex have to interact at all. One valuation, one offer, one point of contact managing the whole thing — and we keep both parties updated equally, so there's no "his side, her side."

Close

Host: Get the one agreement first. Reduce the number of times you have to negotiate directly. And know your options before you assume you're stuck with two bad ones.

Expert: And know that you don't have to do it alone, or do it their way, or do it the slow way by default. There's always a route that fits your situation.

Host: And if you want a free, no-obligation offer — or even if you just want to talk through those options — the link's in the description, or you can call Springbok directly.

Expert: We've heard every version of this story. Nothing you tell us will surprise us — we're just here to help you get to the other side of it.